This blog is simply to share an article that I got to be part of.  I was so excited when Amanda Cumrine messaged me through my Phoenix Fitness with Body By BrendaT Facebook page to see if I wanted to be part of a Return to Fitness article.  Don’t get me wrong, I was initially scared to death, which to me was a sure sign that I was to say YES! 🙂  The following is that article.  If you are interested in checking out my studio and classes, or need an online coach who can lead you through a Beachbody program to keep you accountable, I would love to hear from you.  I will always be here to help, but YOU have to DECIDE to COMMIT to the WORK!

If you can not see the article well here, you can click the article or HERE to read it in its entirety.

Thank You for all of your support! ❤

If you know me, you know where this phase of my life started.  September 2008 wearing a size 24W and quickly closing in on 300#, feeling worthless, unhealthy, in pain, full of anxiety, and like my life was never going to be any better than it was in that second.  In a word, I was miserable.

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It had been 10 years since my spinal fusion and I was still weak, in constant pain, taking narcotic pain killers, and numbing the rest of my physical, mental, and spiritual pain with LOTS of alcohol, chain-smoking, and binge eating!

So if THAT was Rock Bottom, WHAT IS MY CURRENT STRUGGLE ALL ABOUT???

For the time being, let’s start 5 years ago!

5 Years ago, what was going on???

It was August 2012, and I had already lost and maintained a 125#+ weight loss for more than 2.5 years.  But things within my family dynamic were about to change.  As an introvert, I was trying many new things.  I was actually getting out the house more, and trying to make friends.  But instead of things becoming more “normal”, I was making things worse.  Tony and I started arguing.  My Dad made it known that he felt like I was ignoring him.  But I finally felt like I had “friends” and I felt good about myself.  WHY SHOULDN’T I FEEL GOOD FOR A CHANGE?  To say I was struggling was an understatement.  I was LOST!  Then an AMAZING guy came into my life!  Ya’All are probably thinking, WHAT?!?!?!?!

Yes, I still LOVE my wonderful husband Tony, and that never changed!  I am referring to my AMAZING friend Stace Sanchez of KICKpics.com

It has been 5 years since he took these pictures and made me feel like I MATTERED!

Like no matter what anyone else thought of me, MY hopes and dreams mattered!  At the time, I had actually gained back not only 10# of muscle and dropped my BF%, but I had already at that point put on about 5# of stress weight.  Over the next 5 years, that 5# has turned in to an amount I am 100% not proud of!  I am on a day to day basis hovering around 200#.  I am only about 35% BF, which is nowhere near the 54% that I was the last time I weighed this much, but all the same, I feel defeated a lot of the time.  Main reason is that I know that some people stopped looking up to me because I gained some of the weight back!  And that has made my stress grow, which only makes things worse, since my hormones are out of whack!  And to be honest, I feel bullied for not being “perfect” because that is what some people think their fitness trainers/coaches should be.  We are still human all have our own struggles in life.

I wish that the people who had these opinions had a REAL grasp of what it was like to be as overweight as I was all of my life.  I was bullied!  I was made fun of!  I was TORTURED in a Catholic School!  Don’t think that private school takes you away from the bullies of the outside world!  They live in the private world too!  Maybe more so to be blunt!

And, yes, I have thought about, and even tried, to take my life more than once during this series of screwed up messes that is my life, but each time God spared me.  WHY?

I believe that it is so that I can help others who feel like they may be lost causes to find their way!  Be it fitness, nutrition, or even as a friend who will listen!

SO…today, I look like THIS-

And to be honest, if I would just let all the JUNK go in my head…..I AM HAPPY!!!

I will keep trying to get my weight back under control, but FOR ME and for my health!  

But for now, the following 5 things are the ONLY things I am worried about changing in my life.  I think if I do that, my stress will get back under control, and I will FINALLY be able to live my life to the fullest and enjoy all of the success that I DO have in my life! ❤ 

MAKE TODAY GREAT!!!

YUP!  This is IT!

I took this gym selfie after a Shoulder workout last week, and it frustrated me. Although I can see the progress in my shoulders, I am still so unbelievably THICK around my middle.  And Yes, I do know that is a tell tale sign of the adrenal problems that I am working on, but I struggle just like many of you with keeping balance in my life.  I know that I am far from where I started, but I am also not where I want to be!  And I don’t want to reach that goal to please the fitness industry, Beachbody Corporate, or even you who follow me on social media, this is ALL FOR ME NOW!

And to lay it on EXTRA THICK, this past week I have been dealing with an injury, which simply ticks me off! I know that sometimes the Universe has its way of reminding me that I just need to pause, but GGGRRRRRR!!!!!  Because until my knee is better(which will likely include draining and an injection on July 28th), my 100% will look quite different from what it does most of the time.  I am never afraid to modify my workouts, but this has taken me down another notch to hopefully prevent it getting any worse.

It is all going to be OK!

My new goal from now on, is that when I have a “bad” day, it will just be part of my journey! I will acknowledge it and move on! I have come too far to be anything BUT proud of myself. A dear friend told me last week, that basically I need to start giving more attention to the successes in my life instead of the small failures and setbacks that are just an inevitable part of life.

I know that not everyone has the same outlook on this subject, but I am truly curious…

Do you want the person you are taking Fitness Classes from to be “perfect”, or does a little more “real” suit you better?

First I will tell you a little bit about why I am asking.  9 years ago this week, I hit the HEAVIEST I have ever seen on a scale.  I was 296#!

I started dabbling in cutting back on different foods over the next few months before I really started my journey to being healthy, but this was the start for me.  And most of you know my weightloss story over the next couple of years.

Which lead me to become a Beachbody Coach, getting certified to teach Zumba, then CIZE, then getting my NASM CPT, Country Heat LIVE certified, coming soon, Core De Force LIVE certified, and even opening my own fitness studio Phoenix Fitness with Body By BrendaT and all because I fell in love with health and fitness and want to help others do the same.

If you know me, I do not believe that being “skinny” has anything to do with healthy, but being overweight can kinda go either way.  Don’t misunderstand, I am all about body acceptance, as long as you are not using it as an outlet to simply not take care of yourself.  Healthy and fit comes in MANY Sizes, but you do have to put in a conscious effort to do healthy things for your body.

So over the past few years, after getting to my best physical shape ever between 2011-2014,

I started to slowly start putting on a few pounds here and there.  And over the last 2 years, despite still working out anywhere from 8-16 hours a week, and still eating pretty clean, at least about 75-80% of the time I have put back on a total of about 30#!  Sure, I am 46, going through menopause, and have elevated cortisol levels, but I am frustrated all the same. Life happens to everyone, RIGHT?

But because of that, I admit, that I often worry that people will no longer see me as a role model for fitness just because I am no longer a size 4!  What is funny, is that I still wear mostly Size 8’s, some 10’s, BOTH of which I would have KILLED to wear back when I was 13 and wearing size 13/14, but I still sometimes feel like I am not quite up to people’s standards when they are looking for a fitness coach.

So, my question to you is, when you look for a fitness coach, motivator, instructor, etc….Do you want someone who has never been anything but a “fitness-type” or do you look for someone who has “been there, done that, bought the damn t-shirt!”?

This 35 second video from the break this morning during Pure Cardio 2 Workout from Shaun Week – Day 2 made me KNOW that Shaun T​ is SPECIFICALLY doing this week for ME!  I was bawling like a baby as I listened to this as I stood there DRIPPING in sweat!  It was truly like he has been watching a movie of my life! (Is ShaunT STALKING Me??? 😉 )

OK, so maybe he was not talking ONLY to Me, but I definitely felt like he had been inside my head when he started talking this morning. I feel like I shouldn’t have “bad days”, let alone BAD YEARS! I have not been at what I FEEL is my ideal weight for 3+ years now, and it all started with ONE stressful situation that just built and built until I felt like I was spiraling out of control. But I never gave up, and there is something to be said for that. And I am learning that it is OK for me to be sad. It is OK for me to NEED an occasional day OFF! It is OK to slip up! And it is OK to NOT be what some people think of as “the perfect” fitness professional.

Show up and do YOUR BEST for that day! And simply don’t even worry about anything else! You can NOT do any better than YOUR BEST!  If you can push just 2 seconds longer, DO IT! Don’t give up on yourself.  When the countdown of the last 3 seconds starts, you know, when the trainer says 3-2-1, are you stopping at 3?  DON’T!  Push to the end!

Slip ups, backslides, straight up F-UPs happen! You aren’t going to be PERFECT! But change is possible! Being better tomorrow than you are today IS POSSIBLE! You just have to make the decision and COMMIT to the process. It will take time. It will sometimes be REALLY HARD. But YOU are worth it! And NO ONE, no matter how badly they want it for you, can do the work for you!

So if you are looking for someone to help you through, someone to help keep you on track, someone who KNOWS how much some days on this healthy lifestyle journey can REALLY STINK, and how HARD it really is. It isn’t easy, and people who tell you to simply “Eat less and Move More”, are probably people who have NO IDEA what this journey is really like! I have LOST over 140# in the past, and I can tell you that NONE of it came easy! And now that I have hit menopause, it is even harder for me, because what worked 5 years ago is not working for me now. Nothing is a surefire solution for everyone! But you have to give it time to work! You have to commit to something for more than 2 days, 2 weeks, sometimes 2 months before you see how it is going to work for you.

I deal with hateful people often, who think that because I am NOT a fitness model, that I should not be in the fitness industry.  

I call Bull Shit!

Real people like to deal with REAL people.  Not someone who is going to make them feel “less than” because they weren’t born genetically gifted or have the ability to live on the perfect diet with the perfect amount of exercise and SLEEP!  I know what it is like to be super morbidly obese, and I know what it is like to be RIPPED!  I also know what it feels like to be everywhere in between, and the struggles that go with it all.  I know what it is like to workout when you can barely breath because the heaviness of the weight on you constricts you, and I know what it is like to end a workout with pride because you just squatted more than your neurosurgeon thinks you should ever be able to do, or what it feels like to finish a FULL Marathon in under 5 hours as a disabled 40 year old!  But I ALSO know what it feels like to be doing everything “right” and gain over 35# in 3 years because of anxiety and messed up hormones.  I know what it feels like to wake up every morning in pain from an invisible disease that most don’t understand.  But I also know that with modifications, the movement of exercise will keep me going a lot longer than sitting on my butt popping pain killers and muscle relaxers will.  

I will always do my best by my clients and customers, but there will be no results if your are not willing to put in the REAL work.  NO FLUFF!  I can give you the tools, and remind you to use them, but what you do with them is 100% on YOU!  Are YOU ready to MAKE A CHANGE?

CONTACT ME – There are openings to work with me either in person at my studio in Fowler, IL –  Phoenix Fitness with Body By BrendaT, OR online with Beachbody Programs, since I am a Beachbody Coach and Beachbody LIVE Instructor who believes in their programs, trainers, Shakeology, and the sports supplements in the Beachbody Performance Line!  Find me on Facebook – Body By BrendaT or email me at bodybybrendat@outlook.com so we can get you Started TODAY!  And you can find my schedule and other links on www.bodybybrendat.net

Another Bridge the Gap Half Marathon in the books!

Had you told me in May of 2008, that in May of 2017 that I would be completing my 7th half-marathon, I would have told you that you were CRAZY!!!  Yet here we are! 🙂

I walked most of this one, because 1-I had not trained, and 2- I have been having some knee issues.  But we finished it!  It took us 3:27, but we had so much fun! 🙂

I even got interviewed for KHQA news

http://khqa.com/news/local/bridge-the-gap-to-health-race-sees-large-crowd-despite-wet-conditions

So happy the rain stopped in time for us to have a great day! 🙂

Here’s to another year of Health and Fitness! 🙂