Thinking….

I had to take a short break from the deluge of numbers I have been staring at for the last 3.5 hours here at work, and once again got to thinking about things. ¬†I sometimes wonder if anyone reads this blog. ¬†I wonder IF I can help inspire more people. ¬†If so, HOW do I go about reaching them? ¬†And exactly what does it take to inspire? ¬†Do I have it? ¬†I seem to for a select few, but am I capable of doing more? ¬†And if yes…HOW? ¬†WHEN? ¬†WHERE? ¬†Getting my story down on paper seems to be consuming my every thought lately, yet I have made very little progress. ¬†I know what that is, it is FEAR. ¬†Fear of failure? ¬†Fear of success? ¬†Maybe a little of both???

And then it comes back to the same line of thinking. ¬†Will people really WANT to read it? ¬†Will it inspire? ¬† Will the triumphs that I have made over addiction, disability, genetics, and fears help others find their way to a healthier lifestyle? ¬†If it would help someone make even one small change in the right direction, then wouldn’t it all be worth it? ¬†Obviously my answer is yes, because I continue to write even if I am not sure anyone is even out there:)

I know God will help me find my way, I just need to keep my heart AND my eyes open to what could come around the next corner at any moment.  My thinking is that success in life is similar to getting results from a workout?  Put in the hard work and stay focused on the goal, and great things WILL happen.

Just don’t forget to enjoy the ride:)

Love this pic of me and JJK from the Quincy Herald-Whig in January 2012.  Talk about an inspirational life!  Time to keep working on mine:)

Remember the Girl who gave up???  Neither does anyone else!

Life is GOOD!

I have had a GREAT week:) ¬†Many of the Legacy Martial Arts family members headed to Little Rock, AR for The ATA TKD Worlds Tournament, and Kingdom Productions’ Fight For The Troops MMA fights. ¬†So a VERY exciting week for the school:) ¬†BUT…since all the instructors are gone, I got to lead the FIT classes that I LOVE SO MUCH for the last 2 days, and will again on Saturday. ¬†I am finding more and more happiness when sharing my passion for health and fitness.

Tomorrow is going to be the start of yet another BUSY weekend.  Running the Raider Classic 10k at 7:30, teach FIT at 10:30,  Zumba with Mrs Getz directly following, and then home to get ready for a party at a local park for a joined Birthday celebration for my BIL and some friends.  Sunday will be spent doing some fundraising and race paperwork and work around the house and garden.

So to sum up my week, I want to thank Mr Bentley, Mr Jackson, and Mrs Getz for encouraging me to “do my thing”. ¬†Just seeing that I “CAN” do it, rejuvenated something inside me that will motivate me to keep going and reach for my goals! ¬†My self-confidence is building, and that will continue to fuel my fire for wanting more for myself. ¬†I read this week that “you deserve what you settle for”. ¬†Those were VERY powerful words to me. ¬†I have settled for less than I was capable of achieving in many areas of my life. ¬†I think now is my time to reach for my dreams!

Make it GREAT!

My worst critic?

Photo: http://ow.ly/i/HeUI

This picture/saying really got me thinking today. ¬†Who actually tells me I am not good enough? ¬†Usually ME! ¬†Or I will find myself purposely NOT sharing my goals and dreams with people, because I think they will tell me I am not worthy of them. ¬† ¬†Or laugh and say, “What do you think is so special about YOU?”. ¬† Or, “Dreams like that don’t come true for people like YOU!”. ¬†WHY do I do that?

I think that sometimes things from our past can really play a number on the way we think of ourselves for the rest of our lives.  Should I really still be letting some things that happened when I was a child be dictating my whole life?  Should I still feel inadequate because of those happenings?  In my mind, I say NO!  But there is an inner conflict that still holds me back.

Then, I look at everything that I have changed in my life over the past 4 years, and physically??? ¬†OH YEAH! ¬†A lot has changed. ¬†Mentally? ¬†I am the same loving, caring, supportive person that I have always been. ¬†I haven’t really changed much there. ¬†Oh, I do think I have a bit more of a positive view of the world than I used to, but now is the time for me to turn those positive views upon myself and realize that I am worth all the good things I can do and make of my life! ¬† And that if sharing all the experiences(both positive and negative)and the knowledge that came with them, that I have gained in my life could help to motivate or inspire even ONE person to take better care of themselves, don’t I owe it to myself to “Go For It!”?

To reach for those dreams, to be EXACTLY who I¬†want to be, no matter who or what doesn’t think I should? ¬†Or because I could very well put a lot of time and energy into it and fall on my face? ¬†SO WHAT? ¬†The time is going to pass either way, and falling on my face trying to do something good with my life? ¬†UH…isn’t that better than sitting here doing NOTHING?

Even if I fall on my face trying, and only lead by my example, it is possible that I could reach enough people that it makes a difference.

Will I change the world? ¬†Probably not. ¬†But what if I could change someone’s world?:)

So far behind!

I think I have too many irons in the fire right now:( ¬†I can’t seem to keep up with everything. ¬†Sorry I have not been keeping up with my positing. ¬†I am still posting snippits on Facebook and Twitter, so please follow me at¬†http://www.facebook.com/bodybybrenda1¬†and @bsturnbaugh on Twitter. ¬†I will try to catch up soon, but I AM still working on cleaning up my diet to get these last 15-20# off, and my workouts are actually going pretty well. ¬†My schedule is a bit off for this week, because I need to get in some runs, and it is HOT! ¬†I need to watch my energy level, and watch my hydration REALLY closely. ¬†I have a 10k this weekend, and a 5k 2 weeks after that. ¬†I know I will not be setting any records, but my main goal is to run them without pain. ¬†Tonight’s run went very well, and my pain level is only that of a normal fatigued body after its first 4 mile hill run in over a month. ¬†Hip and back feel pretty good. ¬†Tonight, I am actually excited about running for the first time in nearly a year! ¬†Praying it continues to go well.

One thing I do want to talk about real quickly is the fact that I have not been getting enough sleep as of late. ¬†And as you all know, without proper sleep, muscles can’t grow, and your hormones get out of whack and prevent you from losing weight. ¬†So, I am working on getting at least 6.5 hours of sleep each night this week.

So, until I find an extra 5 minutes BEFORE bedtime, I am going to say good-night and I will be back soon:)

Time?

This past week has been very busy. ¬†And to top it off,¬†¬†I have been focusing my writing elsewhere the last few days. ¬†I am putting off things that NEED to be done now for things I WANT to be done. ¬†Not that it is all bad. ¬†I am trying to better myself and my life. ¬†But I do need to get some priorities straight. ¬†Don’t get me wrong, some things are very much the same. ¬†I am still getting in my workouts. ¬†Which have actually been a little different lately too. ¬†I have just felt a bit “in a rut” lately with my lifting workouts. ¬†I will update The Workouts tab soon, and will do a “real” post ASAP.

Mixed Emotions

I struggled yesterday to NOT workout.  I did do a few body weight squats and lunges, and had a wonderful foam rolling session, but my back was not feeling quite right yesterday.  (Side note: For those who have not read my bio, I have a 3 level fusion in the lumbar region of my back from an injury when I was 22, that took nearly 6 years, 3 surgeries, countless hours of PT, and a LOT of pain killers and muscle relaxers to get me just to be able to walk correctly.)  I am sure it was just from overdoing it on my Monday Deadlifts, but when my back HURTS, it worries me.  So I wisely, in my opinion, took it easy, and did not do my heavy leg workout and run that I had scheduled.

BUT…I always get that feeling of letting those following me, and more importantly, MYSELF,¬†down. ¬†But then I saw this quote today on Facebook from Edwin Bliss – “The pursuit of EXCELLENCE is gratifying and healthy. The pursuit of PERFECTION is frustrating, neurotic, and a terrible waste of time.”

To me, EXCELLENCE is defined by me striving to be the best ME I can be, and had I pushed through and tried to do my workout or run, I may have really injured myself. ¬† ¬†My gait was REALLY off yesterday. ¬†Anyone remember Carol Burnett’s character Mrs. Wiggins? ¬†With her sway back and booty sticking WAY out? ¬†LOL! ¬†Yep, that bad:P ¬†I am doing better today, but it is still a little stiff and achy. ¬†I do think I will try to go to FIT and do what I can, but tire flipping may be out for tonight:( ¬†Maybe some nice core work to continue strengthen my back so I can stop having these issues. ¬†OH, I won’t lie, there is ALWAYS pain, but I have learned what pain is tolerable, and what pain calls for a rest day. ¬†But as long as I keep getting stronger, maybe someday there will be NO pain at all, and NEVER a reason for a short recess:)

Until then, I will continue to work hard to be the best me I can be in the pursuit of EXCELLENCE!

Pull Ups!

Time to talk about my “arch nemesis” the Pull Up! ¬†UGH! ¬†How these things frustrate me! ¬†I have let this ONE exercise beat me so many times over the last 3 years! ¬†I work on them for awhile, and give up! ¬†I figure that maybe my back is just simply never going to be strong enough to do them.

HHHHHMMMMM…..What does that sound like to you? ¬†An EXCUSE? ¬†YEP, Me too! ¬†I know that I do still tend to “baby” my back a bit, but there is still fear there. ¬†I mean seriously….what would happen if I broke the metal/bone fusion? ¬†YIKES! ¬†I don’t even want to think about it! ¬†So there is a REAL reason for my fear, but with continued effort, could I do it?

So over the weekend, I started thinking about this again. ¬†I have overcome SO much. ¬†I do things now that I never in my wildest dreams would have thought that I would ever be able to do. ¬†I survive FIT at Legacy Martial Arts 2-3 times a week for goodness sake! ¬†LOL! ¬†I went through 10 years of pain and immobility that would lead one to think that the action of doing ¬†anything like that would be IMPOSSIBLE! ¬†But I have proved myself wrong there, so why not with the pull ups? ¬†SO…I started back on my quest to do proper pull ups, not just negatives. ¬†I can jump, do a negative and sometimes manage one more. ¬†That is IT! ¬†But now I am setting myself a new goal! ¬†By the end of my challenge(August 11th), I plan to have strengthened my back enough to do at least 3 in a row from a hang. ¬†I’ll keep you updated on my progress.

Do you have a fitness “arch nemesis”? ¬†Hit me up on my Facebook page:¬†http://www.facebook.com/bodybybrenda1¬†and we will work on them together.

Hope to see you there!