YIKES!  Typing that made the fact that I feel like I haven’t worked hard enough a BIG reality!  I have  less than 2 weeks to make up for every BBQ, summer party, and every procrastination “snack session” I have been to over the last 10 weeks:(

I have not been perfect, but I do feel I have had some good muscle gains over the last 2 1/2 months.  And I did manage, with a bunch of help, to pull off a pretty good race last Friday night!  I have been busy, but managed to get in about 95% of my strength workouts as scheduled.  My cardio???  Not so well, maybe 70%.  And the whole 3 pull-ups from full hang by August 11th???  I don’t know if I am going to make that goal, but I can do 3 WITH momentum now:)  LOL!

The biggest fear I am dealing with right now, is that you can’t hide in a picture of JUST YOU!  I promised myself that no matter what, I WILL have these pics taken and WILL post them.  Progress or NOT!  I need to hold myself accountable!  I know that I will never be 275# again, but how far would I let myself slip if I let my guard down?  One just never knows until it happens and one day you look in the mirror and all the weight is back AND it brought friends.  I have done that before, and I don’t ever want to feel that way again.  I LOVE my new fit life, and will never be sedentary again, but I still get that, “Am I doing good enough?” feeling in the pit of my stomach.  Am I being the inspiration and motivation that I want to be?  Will others listen to my experience, and allow me to show them that they too can achieve a healthier life?

I recently found a quote to add to my list of favorites.  “What you eat in private, you wear in public.”  WOW!  Those are some powerful words to me.  I have always admitted fully that emotional binge eating when no one is looking, mostly out of feelings of loneliness, insecurity, and an uncontrollable fear of never being good enough, is and always has been, my biggest and best way to self sabotage.  What?  Like the calories that no one sees you consume don’t actually count?  HA!  Just like alcohol was not a problem if I was drinking alone in the dark:(  Which was also consuming large amounts of calories, so a double whammy!

Anyway…my point in this post was that no matter how hard you work, you can either tear yourself down for not doing better, or you can remember that you are human, figure out what and where you could have improved, and try to do better next time.  There is always room for improvement, that is why a healthy lifestyle should be considered a journey without a final destination.  If there is never an end, you have to always be working on it.  I like to think of it like owning a home, because as the owner of an OLD home, I know that home improvement is never REALLY done.

I have a few too many irons in the fire right now, and I am finding that it is making me not focus well on anything.  I have 11 days left until Run For the Cross, and then I can focus on ME and cutting weight for my pics for 2 solid weeks, and THEN….VACATION!  What am I doing and where am I going you ask?  Probably my bed!  LOL!  NO plans, due to no cash flow, but it will be nice to just have some down time with the hubby and the furkids.

But before all of that happens, tomorrow morning, I am going to be on the KHQA Morning Show to both promote the Run For The Cross Event, and as a human interest story about my fitness journey.  I am excited and REALLY nervous.

So, my workouts are going well, food it getting better, and some things are falling into place, but I have no time left to KEEP UP with posting everything.

For now, I will leave you with this.

Stay Positive!  Work Hard!  Be Consistent!  Mandate EXCELLENCE!  What you are striving for may be just around the next corner, so NEVER EVER give up!

I started this blog to try to inspire others by showing my hard work and determination to overcome a lifelong weight problem and my physical challenges since my back injury in 1994, and hope that I succeed in doing so.  BUT…  I gotta tell you about a friend of mine who I actually met about 8 months ago, who really inspired me last week.  We talk at the gym, but have never really shared a lot about ourselves, so I had no idea he had such an inspirational story.    When I see him working out, I can see that he is in great shape, and dedicated to staying healthy.  So, when I say that to look at him, you would never guess that just one year ago, he was in a wheel chair, is an UNDERSTATEMENT!!!! I believe my chin may have actually hit the floor when he told me.  He is so active and full of life.  But early last year, he had started to have some loss of feeling in his hands, then his legs, and from what I understand, it progressed VERY fast.  It was an autoimmune disorder that attacked his nerves(the name of it was about a block long, so unfortunately, I can’t remember it off hand).  I can’t even imagine how bleak his outlook must have been at first.  But in his words, “I was too stubborn and hard headed to let it keep me down!”  And now, in less than a year, not only has he been back to working out for a few months already, but is in better shape than most men half his age!

I haven’t told him that I am writing this, so I will not mention his name, but I want him to know that he has inspired me and re-kindled my spark to keep going.  I have many goals that I am reaching for, but my main one is to stay healthy and active for as long as I am physically able.  And I want this friend to know that he is now my inspiration to keep doing just that.  Some will say that I have plenty of my own, but just in case, I hope a little of his “stubborn and hard headed” rubs off on me:)

So…on days when I am looking for excuses to not get in a workout, I will think of this friend and remember that there MAY come a day that I CAN’T workout.  But then I will think to myself…Today is NOT that day!