12 Days!

YIKES!  Typing that made the fact that I feel like I haven’t worked hard enough a BIG reality!  I have  less than 2 weeks to make up for every BBQ, summer party, and every procrastination “snack session” I have been to over the last 10 weeks:(

I have not been perfect, but I do feel I have had some good muscle gains over the last 2 1/2 months.  And I did manage, with a bunch of help, to pull off a pretty good race last Friday night!  I have been busy, but managed to get in about 95% of my strength workouts as scheduled.  My cardio???  Not so well, maybe 70%.  And the whole 3 pull-ups from full hang by August 11th???  I don’t know if I am going to make that goal, but I can do 3 WITH momentum now:)  LOL!

The biggest fear I am dealing with right now, is that you can’t hide in a picture of JUST YOU!  I promised myself that no matter what, I WILL have these pics taken and WILL post them.  Progress or NOT!  I need to hold myself accountable!  I know that I will never be 275# again, but how far would I let myself slip if I let my guard down?  One just never knows until it happens and one day you look in the mirror and all the weight is back AND it brought friends.  I have done that before, and I don’t ever want to feel that way again.  I LOVE my new fit life, and will never be sedentary again, but I still get that, “Am I doing good enough?” feeling in the pit of my stomach.  Am I being the inspiration and motivation that I want to be?  Will others listen to my experience, and allow me to show them that they too can achieve a healthier life?

I recently found a quote to add to my list of favorites.  “What you eat in private, you wear in public.”  WOW!  Those are some powerful words to me.  I have always admitted fully that emotional binge eating when no one is looking, mostly out of feelings of loneliness, insecurity, and an uncontrollable fear of never being good enough, is and always has been, my biggest and best way to self sabotage.  What?  Like the calories that no one sees you consume don’t actually count?  HA!  Just like alcohol was not a problem if I was drinking alone in the dark:(  Which was also consuming large amounts of calories, so a double whammy!

Anyway…my point in this post was that no matter how hard you work, you can either tear yourself down for not doing better, or you can remember that you are human, figure out what and where you could have improved, and try to do better next time.  There is always room for improvement, that is why a healthy lifestyle should be considered a journey without a final destination.  If there is never an end, you have to always be working on it.  I like to think of it like owning a home, because as the owner of an OLD home, I know that home improvement is never REALLY done.