Change in the wind?

Sorry I have been MIA for a few days.  I was actually accused of being QUIET today!  LOL!  Not one I am used to:)  But I have actually just been very busy at work, and have had a lot on my mind.  And I have FINALLY come to a conclusion…..

I am done dreaming BIG!

Now before you say, “WHAT????”, it is only because I think my mind is finally in the right place, and I am ready to live my dreams!  The time is NOW!  Not that everything will be ready tomorrow, but I am getting my model together, and am going to share it with a few people that I look to as mentors and get things rolling.

I have been stressing about this for months.  Especially the last 6 weeks or so, but I had someone who mentors business women, Ali Brown, tell me that I am my best advertising, and if I use my story, and my before and after pics, people will see that I “get it”.  And that I can help lead them to a healthier lifestyle just by telling/showing them what I have already done.  Why wait to get all the “certifications” when I know what I know from experience and doing my own research.  A friend of hers, Suzanne Evans, has a saying, “Make your mess your message.”   WOW!  That is SO powerful to me.  When I look back over my life as a movie, and although I had a great family, and always had friends, there were always “dark” places.  But no matter what scared or angered me, I could always count on food to comfort me and get me through. 

I finally got tired of looking to food, or as I got older, food, alcohol, and cigarettes to comfort me and numb me out from having to deal with real life.  Today…I have a great life!  I have a job in a scary economic world, I have a wonderful friends, new and old, I am fit and healthier than I have ever been in my life, and at home I have a husband and 4 fur-kids who I love dearly:)  Why would I want to numb myself out from ANY of those things?  I don’t!  But I must admit, that I still want MORE!

I want to help others find THEIR reason to not live “comfortably numb” under layers of fat, because they are just like I WAS.  They think that they are either not worth it, simply CAN’T do it, or both!  I want to show as many people as I can reach, that not only are they worth it, but they CAN do it too!

Although I have been stressing over the possible upcoming changes in my life for awhile now, I have recently received so much love and support from all over that I don’t know how I can deny what is becoming obviously “meant to be” in my life.  But some of the doubts were still there.  I actually have found myself binge eating to numb myself out from the stress of all of it:(  I saw a number on my scale one day last week, that I have not seen in about 2 years!  Yeah, it was mostly fluid retention from eating grossly over processed foods looking for comfort, and is coming off very quickly, but it showed me that I still have to revisit my own advice at times.  Life is still full of surprises, and things will come up.  Stressful situations will arise.  And there WILL be times that I will find myself “flat on the mat”.  But that does NOT have to mean that I am down for the count.  I just have to find my bearings and get back on my feet.  No one but ME has the power to make me fail!  Because I can only fail if I quit!  And that, I DON’T see happening:)

I have recently found a strong woman in me that I never knew existed.  Some may have seen glimpses of her here and there, but I can’t wait to introduce her to the rest of the world!

Thank you to ALL of you who have loved and supported me in my life.  Please don’t go anywhere!  The next leg of this journey is sure to have many new and scary twists and turns in it, and I might need a little pat on the back(or possibly BIG SHOVE) to keep me going in the right direction:)

Here is a picture of me and the infamous Mr Jackson of the Rulership Now Movement! – Another of the wonderful pics taken with the Legacy Martial Arts of Quincy, IL by Stace Sanchez of KICKPICS – Professional Martial Arts Photography and KICKPICS.net

His words that he uses to describe The Movement are one of the many things that motivate me to BE MY BEST every day:

The Rulership Movement is about the progression of perfection. The drive for excellence and the determination to reach past your goals. The movement is comprised of the elite, whom from the moment they wake, dedicate themselves to the perfection of whatever they do. Excellence is the goal, dedication and tireless work is the key. Set the pace. Lead the pack!

MANDATE EXCELLENCE!