I AM LISTENING!!!

OK…so you know how I keep telling you all that God is talking to me and putting people and things right in plain sight, so I better be paying attention??? Well…it just happened AGAIN! I just got home from a run club event. A book signing. Sounds innocent enough, possibly boring to some, am I right? In fact, I admit that I have not yet read the book.  I had skimmed it, but was just looking forward to a little time out of the house for the most part.  So I drove to Spirit Knob Winery in Ursa, IL, thinking that I would have a nice glass of wine and enjoy the company of my running friends and get to hear an author talk about her book.  When I got there, I bought the book, and as I go up there to actually meet Amy Marxkors, the author of The Lola Papers, my friend Karen encouraged me to tell her my “story”.  So I summarized my last 4 years into a VERY short few sentences, and she responded nicely, and I figured that was my brush with fame with her for the day and I took my seat to wait for her to finish signing and start her speech.

What happened next was TOTALLY unexpected!!!

WOW! I honestly think God brought her here to talk to me.  To once again remind me that I have to fight through my fears and step out of my comfort zone to get to MY “place” in life.  She talked about being confident and thinking that you are always the best at everything you do.

She nearly had me in tears a couple of times when I felt she was reaching straight out an talking to me.  Then she talked about her 3 mottos. The first one, I believe is going to by my new mantra:

1 – Tickle the Dragon! Comes from her coach “Mr Speedypants” telling her, “If you can’t take the heat, then don’t tickle the dragon.”  I LOVE THIS!  This said to me, “Have the confidence in yourself to go after what you want even when it is scary and hard.  Losing 115# was HARD, and I did that!  What MORE can I do???

2 – If you think…you’re dead!  This is from Top Gun when Maverick was saying that you don’t have time to think, because if you don’t JUST DO IT! and you over-analyze EVERYTHING, you are dead.  This to me said STRAIGHT UP, if I am going to do this, the time is NOW!  Don’t keep second guessing yourself.  Do the work and GO FOR IT!  The time is NOW!

3 – Buzz the Tower! Another Top Gun reference:)  When Maverick requested a flyby of the tower and was denied.  He did it anyway EVERY time and made the guy spill his coffee.  This one also spoke to me.  Even if someone tells me that I CAN’T  live my life BIG, I have to believe that it is the right thing to do and simply DO IT ANYWAY!

Amy got me running SO MANY questions through my mind all at once.  Things like:

So what if I don’t go forward with my dreams?

What if I stop right now and just say, “It is just too hard!”

What if I choose not to follow my passion?

Then I got to thinking.  What if I don’t and I miss helping even ONE person that I was meant to help.  What if I am someone’s “Amy”, or “Mr Bentley”, or “Mr Jackson”, or “Stace”, or “Mark”….?????  And since I honestly think she was here to tell(or teach) me something, who am I to not listen and learn?

So happy I had a place to share this.  I keep thinking I am GOING to make a difference, but someone tonight told me that I already was.  I am truly blessed and I think I am being shown the way to the path for me to share all I have learned with others.  Making my passion my LIFE:)

Flood of Emotions!

SO overwhelmed right now.  But mostly in a good way:)  I am full of excitement, fear, happiness, stress, and even a bit of sadness. And I must say, that EVERY big change I have ever had in my life brought these feelings, but something about this new chapter in my life has me looking at EVERYTHING in my life.  What is important?    What exactly do I want to do?  What is holding me back?

My confidence is so much higher recently, but there is still that underlying fear that I am going to fall on my face!  But thanks to Mark Cummings (half the heart, twice the determination) (a VERY inspiring young man whose FB page you should ALL check out), I know to “NEVER let your fears decide your fate!”  Those words really resonated with me.  I am ready to push past the fear of not being “good” enough, or “smart” enough.  My personal experience and my passion to want to help others IS enough!

I am lucky to have a great support group in my husband, fitness friends, and family members.  And with all else that is going on right now, I have decided to become a Certified Zumba Instructor and am working on finishing up my ACE CPT course.  I myself, have always been drawn more towards experience when it comes to fitness, but I know some people like seeing the the “papers”.   So I guess soon I will have both.  

So if I seem absent more than usual, you can probably either find me working out somewhere, reading/studying my text, sitting in front of my computer working on my webpage, in my garage doing Zumba, or for a few brief moments, actually sitting down enjoying the company of my husband and furkids:)  All the pieces of this little puzzle called “My Life”, are finding their way together.  I just have to have patience and keep working hard.  And why???

Have a great weekend!