My Life and Childhood Obesity

I want to put something out here that has been on my mind and heart lately.

Many of you know that I was a “fat kid”. I wasn’t sweet and cute, I was overweight, had thick glasses, and I was smart. NOT a great combo, ESPECIALLY when the subject is bullying. But even WORSE when the subject is self-respect, self-love, self-image, self-esteem, and self-WORTH!

Things as simple as doing my favorite thing in the world, which was going to our town’s public pool with my friends, was actually just another stressful situation in my life. Oh sure, I had some great friends who never cared, and stuck up for me when the bullies would bother me, and I even pretended to laugh a lot of it off. But the scars from that pain just went deeper and deeper. At the age of 9, I even had a nervous breakdown and was put into a hospital where I was supposed to get help. I got something, but it was NOT help! But that is another subject altogether. Point is, I had no idea what “being normal” even meant. I was always the “chubby girl”, “fat friend”, or my personal favorite “big-boned girl”! UGH! But what did I do about it? I turned to MORE food! It was my only solace. Sometimes, my only friend. ESPECIALLY when my friends started dating! At 12, I started sneaking Dexatrim diet pills, and abusing laxatives. I would eat ONLY jarred baby food for days until I would almost pass out from hunger, and then eat everything in sight.

In my twenties, the pain was so deep, that I was actually happy that there was a very high chance that I could not have children, because I feared that I would have a girl and she would be just like me! That was the last thing I EVER wanted for a kid. Especially MY kid! Then when we decided to really find out IF children were even a possibility, I decided that if we had one, I would just monitor the food. I would be sure they weren’t a video gamer and got outside to play and get into sports. The same things that I went through would NOT happen to my KID!

However, as most of you know, we were never blessed with children. BUT. Now as a fit adult with the understanding of a “less than fit” past, I can relate to many other people’s struggles. Including young girls. This is one reason I enjoy doing Zumba with the Girl Scouts, and why I love that there will be children EVERWHERE at the Relay For Life event I am doing Zumba at on June 13th in Quincy, IL. AND why I ALWAYS encourage people to bring their children along to my classes for FREE!!!

Unfortunately, I used to think, “I can’t be everywhere, and I can’t help inspire and motivate them all.”

But through this blog, through social media, through word of mouth. I have the power to reach a LOT more than I even dreamed possible. But you know what? If I can help even ONE girl feel better about herself. Make her realize that just because she is not the perfect girl that is portrayed in movies, tv shows, music videos, on the internet, and in magazines, does NOT mean that she has no worth!

Even if I have to do it by motivating and helping their moms, I MUST try to do whatever is in my power to keep children from feeling like they are less of a person because they are overweight. Helping the kids when I can and helping the Moms AND Dads be better role models to help give them a fighting chance. I didn’t have that, but the kids in my life, whether they are mine or not, will always know that being active and having fun WHILE being fit is an AMAZING way to live your life!

Just because I am not a Mom, does NOT mean that I can’t have a positive influence on the children of the world.

Let me know how I can help you be a good fitness role model for the little ones watching YOU!Fathers-Day-push-ups-972281_591998907497032_1479004053_n

Shame?

Working through some “stuff” in my head the past few weeks.  While I was doing that, I am going to admit that my commitment to my nutrition and fitness were placed on the back burner.  I am feeling a little better about a few things now – not all is well – but I am feeling a bit more like myself.  After some deep digging to figure out WHY I was feeling like such a failure even when others said I was an inspiration, I think I have come to this conclusion….

I want to help EVERYONE!  But for many who come to me for help(and some who don’t ask, but I try to solicit unwanted advice, out of a place of passion and caring), I want it for them MORE than they want it for themselves.  And when they fail, I feel that I have failed. 

I then became very down and depressed, and stopped even caring about wanting it for myself!  I started relying on old self sabatoging ways.  Eating to procrastinate.  Skipping workouts, even when I could have easily fit one in.  Not focusing on ME at all.  I even stopped my faithful PD practice for a bit.  Thoughts like, “If I can’t help others succeed, I must be a failure, RIGHT?  And failures FAIL!”  So I started to turn my back on everything that I had done to become a weight loss success story in the first place.

That brings me to this past week.  I had resolved to get back on track.  Not let ANYTHING get in my way.  Then my Daisy got sick.  One of my beloved furbabies ate a rock and had to have emergency surgery.  UP went the stress level again.  Relied on convenience foods and did not take or MAKE time to work out most nights.  Over the weekend, I took a long hard look at what I have done to myself.  I am heavier and in the worst shape that I have been in in about 4 years, and I don’t feel like I am doing right by my customers, students, clients, family, and friends.  How can I inspire and motivate them to help them be their best when I am not doing it myself?

Then it came to me during a team call tonight!  Jimmy said, “I can’t do it for you, no matter how much I want it for you!”

BAM!  Right between the eyes!  I have been taking all of this too personally.  THAT is why I am having trouble helping others AND taking care of ME! 

I DO want to help every person who wants my help to find their health and fitness.  But they MUST want it as badly, or I can’t take it to heart when they don’t become the next huge success story.  They must have their own “skin in the game”, otherwise I can give them all I got and still come up wanting.

So, tonight for the first time in a very long time, I not only stuck to my healthy supper, I even got up from the table and went and brushed my teeth to keep me from going for something sweet as I often have recently(Old habit)after supper.  AND, although I was tired from a very busy and draining weekend, I did 30 minutes with Autumn Calabrese and 21 Day Fix – Total Body Cardio Fix.

I pray this new enlightenment continues and I do not have any other “ISSUES” that my mind can’t seem to handle. I did not start a Support group that I had originally wanted to this week, but next week, the one will open for everyone who is starting a Challenge with me between now and June.

If you want to be part of it, email me at bodybybrenda@hotmail.com and ask for more info.

Time for this girl to get some shut eye!

As ALWAYS…

MAKE today GREAT!!!

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1/3 of the Way to Your 2014 Goals?

It’s May already!!!

How did that happen?   2014 is 1/3 of the way gone!  Are you 1/3 of the way to your 2014 goals?  I’M NOT!  Nowhere close!  I just tell people that I am “Under Construction”!

work in progress

I have been “dabbling” too much over the last year or so, and not staying committed to ONE THING!  So, for the next 6 weeks, besides the obvious addition of my FIT and Zumba classes, I am 100% dedicated to Les Mills COMBAT only!  The plan is to be smokin’ HOT by the Beachbody Coach Summit in Vegas in mid-June, so it is time to GET SERIOUS and do what I know works for me, and stop experimenting.

Speaking of Beachbody Coaching….

I will be helping with a Coach Training group starting May 19th!

If you have ever thought about taking advantage of the opportunity to help others WHILE getting in great shape AND make as much money as you are willing to put in the work to achieve, this would be a great time to sign up!  AND, to help you get started, the TurboFire Challenge Pack by Chalene Johnson is on sale this month for an additional $40 OFF the already discounted package price!  That is like buying Shakeology and getting the entire TurboFire System for $10!!!

I would love to have you join our team!  If you are interested, email me directly at bodybybrenda@hotmail.com

Let’s get out there and be our most awesome selves today!  Be worthy of your crown! 🙂

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