Each time I come across this picture, I just cringe. It makes me sick to my stomach.
Because I actually see my face on this little girl 😦
One of my earliest memories of my self loathing body image, was going to my pediatrician when I was 5 or 6. He would poke me in the belly and say to my mom, “Brenda getting a little too chubby. Need to put on diet or she will be massive fat adult!” This is exactly how he would say it. English was not his first language, he was from India. And I LOVED his family. They were our neighbors. At his house, his wife would make us these wonderful treats from their country. And they always had rock candy! Great for the “fat kid” of the neighborhood to always be the one that doctor would NOT let have the candy.
But I would dream about being beautiful. I would look at pictures of women in magazines, and dream that “one day”…..
Today, I still catch myself doing the same damn thing! Even though I KNOW in my heart that it is wrong! Even though I know beauty comes from within! Even though I know that it is our actions that truly make us beautiful. And Even though I know about all the touch ups, makeup, contouring, and photo shopping, and plain and simple, that…
It admit that it is still a difficult road that I stroll down from time to time, and I hope and pray that as I publicly share my journey(the good, bad, and ugly) down this road that I shed light on the reality of the fact that being fit, healthy, and BEAUTIFUL have nothing to do with the size of your F-ing Skinny Jeans!
I am not saying that wanting to lose weight for health and to look and feel better is bad, but PLEASE remember that it is not what DEFINES beauty! I am in the fitness industry, and although many are only focused on being skinny, there is a MUCH GREATER MESSAGE that many of us share that is way above and beyond “skinny”! Being your BEST YOU! No matter what that is or looks like!
The most eye pleasing woman in the world can still be ugly, by her actions, or simply by opening her mouth!
But the mirror is still my arch nemesis! It taunts me! It distorts all that is within and focuses only on the overweight, ugly outside that I see. But I am healthy. I am fit. WHY do I still let this object define me in my head? Why do I only focus on what I see as flaws instead of the wonderful progress I have made since I was that chubby little girl who saw nothing but a worthless, sad, lonely, fat girl looking out from her mirror.
My point of this post, is to please not only watch what and how you say things to your children, but watch how you talk about yourself in front of them. If they know that you disgust yourself for being overweight, if they too have a weight problem, they will also think that they are disgusting to you.
You ARE Beautiful!
And flaws and all, So Am I!
MAKE today GREAT!!!
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