This picture pretty much sums up how I have been feeling the last week.
PURE FIRED UP RAGE!
Because I have been so sick that I have not been able to help anyone with their health and fitness goals for a WEEK, including myself! But, I realize that sometimes, God makes us slow down for a reason. I have truly been struggling with trying to find balance in my life recently. And this has forced me to stop and take a look at it.
I am a fitness studio owner.
I am a Group Exercise Instructor.
I am a Beachbody Health and Fitness Coach.
I am an NASM Certified Personal Trainer. AND
I am a full time employee in a pharmacy business office.
BUT, most importantly, I am Mrs Brenda Turnbaugh! Wife to Tony and FurMom to 4 amazing little 4-leggers!
And I need taken care of too. I need my own workouts. I need self-care time. I need to take the time to get proper nutrition. I need to spend time with my husband NOT thinking about work! I need to make time to cuddle my furbabies. AND I need to make time for my students, customers, and clients without giving the impression that I am available 24/7/365. But all of those things may not fit into EVERY 24 hours, while still working full time and running the studio. So I need to find my balance. And I won’t be bullied or listen when being talked down to for taking the Doctor Instructed time off for my health and my wellbeing from anyone. No matter how near and dear to my heart they are. Because without my health, how can I possibly help and serve anyone else, right?
So, I am moving on from this rage and accepting the time off that I had to take as a gift. Am I rested? No, I have never been more exhausted in my life! I am VERY Sick, Ya’All! Am I recovered? Not yet. Will I get there? YES! In time. I have not given my body the permission to heal from stress that started 3 years ago. I never took the time off to truly HEAL, and it manifested into me finally getting so ill that I was forced to take the time off. And I see that now. And I am ready to let it go. I am ready to release that stress and worry no more about it. God has it now and He will help me through. He will help me find my balance and my success.
I still believe that 2017 is going to be an amazing year in my life. I just have to slough off the past first! And a LOT of past has been purged over the past 6 days as I laid in my recliner alone with my thoughts. My vision too blurred to read, my ears to muffled to hear clearly, and the rest of my body racked with so much pain that I felt I would go mad!
Today as I still feel on the edge of falling off a cliff, I sit here at my work desk. My lungs burning, my head throbbing, and my vision and hearing still a bit iffy. But sometimes choices are not our own when our job is to serve another man’s dream. My dreams ARE part of my journey, and the journey towards my dreams is also the path to freedom. And that path is mastered by taking one step at a time.