Can’t Raise The Dead!

I was just listening to a mentor of mine on a Facebook Live business meeting, and he said the phrase, “It is easier to Give Birth than it is to Raise The Dead!”

OMG!  Talk about the EXACT thing I needed to hear!

And BEFORE anyone who loves me and reads this jumps to any conclusions, I am FINE!  I just need to learn when it is time to let some things go so I can move forward in a MORE Positive Light! ❤ 

Recently, I have been feeling very defeated and lost.  ESPECIALLY in my businesses!  I keep chasing after the same people, because they said they would be there.  And my heart WANTS to still help them, that is why I do what I do!  Well……sometimes life happens, sometimes feelings and/or loyalties change, and sometimes people simply decide you aren’t worth their time anymore.  Isn’t necessarily a bad thing, just the facts of life AND/OR business! 


Not everyone is a fit for your life.  And not everyone who says they are your friend or colleague really wants to see you succeed.  It could be many things.  Jealousy? Fear of Change? Misunderstanding? Drifting apart? Different Goals?  Different priorities? MANY Things!  And although it is sometimes difficult to remember, not everyone wants to be, or for that fact, BELONGS in your circle.  What DOES matter is learning your own worth.  And remembering that when others don’t see your worth, THAT’S OK!  They simply weren’t meant to be part of your life.  At least not forever.  maybe they were there for a learning season of your life.  And seasons inevitably change.

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I have been chasing after the same people for months.  Some for YEARS!  But today I realized that if I need to chase them, that they may not be my people.  I miss some people SO MUCH that it is hard for me to let go, but if they don’t want to be a part my world enough to actually be here, then maybe I need to stop begging them to be a part of it.

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That is a HARD pill for me to swallow!  Believe me!  I HATE giving up on people, because I am an eternal optimist and BELIEVE that there is good in everyone, and that their good should mesh with MY good.  But that is not how it always works out.  So I have to learn to let them go and just BREATHE.


Sometimes that means let go forever, sometimes that means that a person slips from one part of your life to another.   A loved one becomes a friend.  A friend becomes an acquaintance.  An acquaintance becomes someone you say hi to in public. Or a colleague becomes someone who doesn’t give you the time of day.  It’s OK!  Not everyone was meant to be part of your life forever!  If you get a few of those in your lifetime, consider yourself LUCKY!

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Many times in my life, I have looked at letting go as a personal failure.   Even when I knew it was best for me and/or the other person.  Let go of one of the greatest loves of my life that way.  And I truly felt that I had failed at life and may never be given a second chance. 

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I myself often feel personal responsibility and guilt for people leaving me.  Thinking it HAD to be something I did!  HAD to be something deeply unlikable about me.  But it is destructive having that low of an opinion of yourself.  As a kid, I was once told that it was my fault that my family wasn’t in a better place.  That my “mental” issues were more of an inconvenience, and not the deeply disturbing situation that they were to me. Not only at the time, but for my entire life.  In my head, lives a constant reminder that I was at one time told that I was “THE problem”. I know I made life more difficult, but feeling like a disappointment and that the burden of all life’s happiness was taken away because I ruined it by having “problems”, lead to a life of me trying to win people’s love and sometimes fight to win it BACK!  But learning that sometimes you have to know when it is time to let go so the energy wasted on trying to raise the dead can be focused towards giving birth to the new.  

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Let’s Workout!



I heard the audible groans come from all over as soon as you read that title.

But this is about just that!  NOT wanting to workout.

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Maybe you don’t like to sweat.


Maybe you feel you are TOO out of shape to even start.

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Maybe you are overweight, and the feeling of your excess jiggle jiggling just grosses you out(Been there and back again!).


Maybe you lack motivation.


Maybe you simply don’t see the point because your progress is always too slow because you can’t be PERFECT!


Maybe you hate cardio, but heard that lifting weights will make you bulky! (BIGGEST MYTH EVER!!! 😡 )

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Maybe you are afraid!  Afraid you won’t be able to keep up or maybe afraid that you will look stupid!  So you are going to do a bunch of research FIRST and then you will start.

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One of my all time favorites – SOMEONE ELSE TOLD YOU YOU COULDN’T!!!!

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OR MAYBE you simply don’t know where to start!


All of these are only EXCUSES that you put in your own mind to keep you from facing this fear.  And all they are doing is holding you back from being your healthiest and best you.  Often we think it is outside circumstances holding us back, but if you REALLY Dig Deep, we usually find out that our biggest saboteur is US!

And although I own Phoenix Fitness with Body By BrendaT in Fowler, IL and am a Beachbody Coach, and would LOVE to help you personally on your journey, but if having an accountability and support group and/or a trainer/coach/mentor isn’t your thing, and you prefer to do it on your own, the DO IT!!!!  DON’T let your excuses be the thing that stops you before you ever even start!  A health and fitness journey is hard enough without giving yourself false reasons to hold you back before you ever even start.

And message me if you are interested in what my studio has to offer, online help, or if you are simply looking for an online support group who could help you stay accountable.  You can find me on Facebook and IG, or go to


Working Through A Messy Life Season

We all go through seasons in our lives.  And sometimes, life gets you feeling like you are the losing monkey in the WORST EVER Monkey Poo Fight in the Zoo Monkey House!  Some of you know what I am talking about. 


But we need to do our best to keep moving forward.

And then you have those times when a season seems to take hold.  Take over even!  Make all of your hard work seem like it was for nothing.  THAT is kind of where I have been for awhile now.  And I have done my best to stay positive, but I do struggle with some depression, stress, sadness, and anxiety, so when I feel like I have failed, ALL the feelings come RUSHING in!  Am I a FAILURE?  NO!  Absolutely not!  But those demons in my head have been screaming pretty loud lately.


And I know you have heard me say it before, but I am REALLY not enjoying this whole early menopause thing! UGH!  My hormones seem to be all over the place.  I can be having the time of my life one minute, and one simple comment or action can make me feel like the most unloved, unworthy, unwanted person alive. 

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Being someone who has struggled with being suicidal for most of their life, those feelings piss me off!  I don’t like feeling like that.  I KNOW I am a good person.  I KNOW I have so much to offer people.  But when these feelings arise, and I feel worthless, what am I doing for anyone?

Some say that sharing my whole life shows my vulnerability and “human-ness”.  I am human, and I do have problems.  But some of my problems, struggles, and TRIUMPHS over them have made me the strong woman that I am today!

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I tried to leave this world multiple times when I was only 9 years old.  God wouldn’t take me.  So WHY did he leave me here?  I believe there was a REAL reason.  I am 47, closing in on 50, and still haven’t truly found it yet. 

But even though I still have days where I wonder if things would have been better had I succeeded 38 years ago, I then think of the people who tell me that I AM an inspiration to them.  That I show them even during a setback, that it is possible to KEEP WORKING!  That it is possible to still put a smile on my face and look for the positives in life!  Because they ARE out there.  There is ALWAYS something to be grateful for.  Don’t believe me?  God WANTED you to wake up this morning, so you DID!  He has a plan for you!  You DO have a purpose!  And so do I! 

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Some days you may feel like you don’t have purpose, but please believe that every day, someone is thankful for you!  Someone is praying for you!  And if you are reading this, I can guarantee this that you are someone I am grateful for.

Fitness has been my catalyst into working on more of myself.  My deeper self.  I work very hard on the things I CAN control.  My fitness, and as of this week, the return of working on my nutrition.  If either of those things are of interest to you, whether you are a customer of mine or not, I encourage you to join my Virtual Gym Support Group.  You can find a link to the Facebook Group here.  Request to join, and if we are not Facebook friends, watch for a message from me shortly after, because I have VERY strict NO BULLY policies, and need everyone who comes in to realize that NO amount of ugliness will be tolerated, just like it is at my physical studio, Phoenix Fitness with Body By BrendaT.

Talk to you all soon