Yup! Here we are. At the beginning of yet another year. Time to start fresh and new and find that energy and motivation that comes from something brand new.
I will be starting a new program with this guy, ShaunT, in a Test Group, so I am kind of excited about that. But worried and nervous at the same time. I keep saying 2019 is MY YEAR! That I am going to DO IT again and not let my head and heart garbage hold me back. But I have said that before. 
I think it is FATE! Back in July 2018 when I met ShaunT, we talked about the Phoenix and what it represents to us. And his motto through this workout, Transform:20, seems to be transforming by choosing to RISE UP from where you are and getting the job done. Sounds like exactly the kind of influence I need in my life right now 🙂
And THEN, this morning as I got ready for work, I listened to Darren Daily as I always do, and he was taking about OWNING your life. I have heard this from him before, but for some reason, as I pulled on my pants this morning over my seemingly ever growing belly and butt, I HEARD him
.
This weight problem of mine has NOTHING to do with menopause. It has NOTHING to do with stress. It has NOTHING to do with the crap that I have gone through over the past 5 years. It came ONLY from my actions and reactions and lack of actions to all those situations over the past 5 years. Which means it is ALL ON ME!
WELL….THAT SUCKS!
Yet it is also GREAT! Because if I can F-up my weight/health this bad, I can also fix it up pretty good too. In fact, I’ve done it before, so I KNOW I can!
So…today I take a step forward. Tomorrow I will take another. And Wednesday another. And so on and so on. I can’t change the fact that I dealt with some of my problems in recent years by drinking too much and binge eating. I wish I could, but I can’t. I wish I could tell you that although I eat healthy most of the time, workout religiously, and do my best to get at least 6 hours of sleep a night, that I could always handle the stress in my life in a healthier way. But I can’t.
Starting today, with the help of an AWESOME group of women in my current support and accountability group, AND the Transform:20 Coach Test Group including ShaunT himself, I am going to grant myself grace to DO my very best and not beat myself up on days I fall short. But making a concerted effort EVERY day to handling my stress better and not allowing my environment outside my body, rule the environment INSIDE! Basically, negativity and other people’s bullshit is getting kicked to the curb for 2019!
Also, I am planning to deal with things like my finances and addiction to social media scrolling in a different way. I’ll still be there(not going cold turkey) just working on not spending as much time watching other people live their lives, so that I can focus on other parts of my life 🙂
I do fully intend to make 2019 my B!#@H!!!
I WILL RISE UP!
B3T Books and Biceps 