I was challenged today to share with you a part of my story that you may not know. Something I don’t talk a lot about. My wedding day! Well, let’s actually let’s start 6 weeks before my wedding day. It was March 9, 2003. It was a beautiful spring Sunday, and I was working in my yard. Cabin fever had got me like it did every winter, and I was looking forward to getting some flower beds cleared to prepare them for planting. Nearly every Sunday(unless I had been shopping with her the day before), I called my Mom. That day, I was going to call her when I went inside for the evening. That is a call I never got to make. We got a call from my Dad saying that Mom had passed suddenly in her sleep sitting in her favorite chair.
To say the least, I was DEVISTATED! My Mom was my best friend. She was the one person that no matter what crap I pulled, she still loved me totally and unconditionally! And trust me, I pulled some doozies! But that is a novel for another time. She was my sounding board for EVERYTHING! My confidant. But she was always in poor health. She had diabetes from a young age, which lead to heart disease, major eye problems, and eventually left her going to dialysis 3 days a week for the last 8 months of her life due to complete renal failure.
How was I supposed to have the “Happiest Day of My Life” without HER? As I sat next to the gurney that she was on in hospital, holding her hand, I swore to myself that I would lose the weight, take better care of myself, and NEVER put anyone through all of the worry that she put us through with her health problems. I was lying to myself. I made it to my wedding day, I married my other best friend, and it was a wonderful happy day. But there was still something missing, and I slipped into a dark place for awhile. I was sad. I was depressed. And my replacement friends, became food and alcohol. LOTS of alcohol! I sat around for the next 5 years getting fatter and more unhealthy and more self-loathing.
But something told me in September 2008, that I was NOT a lost cause! That no one is so broken that they can’t work on being MORE. That is the thing about Rock Bottom…You still have a choice. Settle and stay there until rock bottom becomes disease and death, or MAKE the changes you want in your life and RISE UP!
No one can do it for you! YOU choose! I was a scared, broken, depressed, sick, disabled, obese, chain smoking drunk who had never finished anything in her life, on my Day 1. It’s OK! You can have as many FIRST steps as you need. As long as you never choose to take your LAST step!
So if you need a cheerleader in your corner, someone to stay accountable to, someone to push you a little along the way, or just someone that you can reach out to that understands that being fit does not always mean you look like a fitness model, but you are doing your best to be YOUR personal best…I would love to help! Contact me about joining one of my Beachbody Challenge Groups, or about joining my team and leading by example as you are on your journey.
MAKE today GREAT!
bodybybrenda@hotmail.com
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