The Dimming of a Light

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Before you even ask, YES, I know it is Spring, and YES, I know this is a picture of a Christmas tree 🙂

But when I was searching for a different picture this morning, I came across this one and burst into tears!

You see, the search I did was celebrating memories.  And although this picture is associated with celebrating Christmas and happy memories of Christmases passed, what I saw was the dark tree in the front, and I started to cry.

As I watch my Dad drifting away, I try to focus only on the wonderful memories we all had as a family.  I try to think only about where he is going, and that he will finally be out of pain.  He has suffered so much over the last several years, and I think God is finally getting him ready to relieve him and take Home. That is what I am TRYING to do.  But in reality, I am sad.  Sad and scared!  Mom left us 12 years ago, and the thought of both of them being gone, is terrifying me.  The changes and drifting that seems to inevitably happen when common bonds in a family are gone. I know I am NOT the best sister in the world to begin with when it comes to keeping in touch, that I admit.  But the fear of losing the last common bond with my siblings, makes me feel fear. Will I also lose the only other people who share memories of the good parts of my past?

The trees in this picture made me realize that even though the lights may have faded out, the memories still live on in our hearts and in our minds, just beyond where the present lives.

So even in our worst and darkest of times, we must try to focus on the good and the light.  The light is what will guide you through to the next part of your life’s journey.  I know it is sometimes difficult to let go of the familiar and go forward into the unknown. The fears that come with change and loss are very real.  But we must remember that even when lights burn out, our memories of the light are still present. Each time we access that memory, that light will live on forever in our hearts and will help continue to guide us through.

Share your Joy!

Share your Light!

Your On Switch To Fitness – P90

Will YOU let P90 be Your On Switch To Fitness?
I will admit, I thought that P90 was going to be too easy for me. I am in pretty good shape, right??? As a Beachbody Coach, I have been thinking of it mostly as a beginner program.  But it has the potential to be so, SO MUCH more.

Friday night, I did the Month 1 workouts Sculpt A and Ab Ripper A, and I gotta say, that I really enjoyed it.  Classic Tony Horton wit.  Great exercises with modifications shown for everyone.  I am not going to lie, I was sweating by the end!  But even as it did ‘reconfirm my belief that this truly can be the On Ramp to fitness for so many people, I also realized that it is so much more.
But I still chose to not write this blog that night.  I wanted to also see what the Sweat A was like before I made my full review.
And can I just say….I ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT!!!
This program not only has the potential to help people like I used to be

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Yes, I am talking about an alcohol swilling, except pill popping, chain smoking, disabled and in constant pain, morbidly obese 37 year old woman living in the body of a 78 year old(my age on the “Real Age” test the week I started my journey in September 2008), AND the woman I am now.
BUT…could it also help keep a fit and healthy person fit and healthy? I believe that answer is “YES!”
It could even be a way for a fit and healthy person FINALLY get those they love to finally workout with them. You can all do the same workouts TOGETHER! How amazing would that be?
Just image finally having a program that older parents could be a part of. Or get your overweight, game obsessed teen to spend 25 minutes with you learning that it really IS possible to move without feeling awkward and left out.
Or, what about that spouse or sibling who has bad knees, or a bad foot, or a bad back who just does not think ANY workout can ever be “theirs”?
Or the person who says they don’t have time? Longest workout in the C Phase is STILL less than an hour!

So, I ask again?

Could P90 be the On Switch to Fitness fir YOU? Or maybe someone you love?

If so, or if you have more questions, Please contact me. I would love to help Coach you through it.
E-mail me at bodybybrenda@hotmail.com or message me on Facebook.

I am very passionate about this. I know that passion can sometimes be mistaken for being pushy, but I know what “Rock Bottom” feels like. Trust me, THIS
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Strong, FIT, and healthy…

Is better! 🙂

Love to you, All!

My “WHY” once again being Revisited!

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Sitting in a hospital.  The woman I am looking at in the bed in front of me was so full of life not long ago.  She now looks so frail.  Barely resembles the woman that I have had so much fun with, laughed with, cried with, called my friend.  She is quiet.  The only noise is that of the machines that are hooked up to her.  I am scared and feel like my life is on the brink of a major change.  What will life be like if she is no longer here?  What will I do?  Parts of me are breaking inside?  The tears come without warning.

That paragraph was me remembering what it was like that day 20 years ago sitting in St Francis Hospital in Peoria, IL watching my Mom after she had 5 bypasses done on her heart.  Her diabetes was starting to take over.  Her body was wearing out a piece at a time.  She was 55.  We didn’t lose her that time, but as of Sunday, it will have been 11 years since we did lose her to the diabetes.  After 8 months of dialysis, she fell asleep in her chair and God took her home.  They said it was another heart attack.   My heart broke that day.  It was 6 weeks until my wedding, and I did not know how to move on to the next day even.  But my family, especially my big sisters, helped me through.

Let’s now fast forward to yesterday.

Wow!  Here I go crying again.  I may never get this written.

Yesterday, my oldest sister(53 now), had to have a triple bypass surgery.  I walked into her room after her surgery, ready to praise God that my sister was OK.  Instead I was stopped dead in my tracks.  I was looking at my Mom!  All those feelings came rushing back again.  I was SCARED!  I did give that well deserved Praise later, but in that moment, I was in shock!  I am so sick of this horrible disease!  I wish I could say that she is now out of the woods.  But within a day or two, she also has to have two more toes amputated.  The diabetes is taking them too.

Our Dad is suffering from a total personality change and an altered mental state after his kidneys started shutting down a few months ago due to his diabetes, and his potassium skyrocketed.  We didn’t physically lose him that day, but MY DAD is not really there anymore.  It took “him” away. 😦

Six years ago, in spring of 2008, I was told that I was borderline diabetic, my blood pressure was too high, and my cholesterol was…well…my blood was gravy!  And I was pushing 300#!  I was still seeing the same doctor who had been my Mom’s doctor.  He actually asked me if I planned to follow in her footsteps.  By September of that year after a health scare of my own that turned out OK, I started thinking more seriously about doing something about my health.  I woke up the day after watching the season premier of Biggest Loser that got me thinking maybe I could do it, and lo and behold, there was my Mom was looking back at me in my mirror.  I was built just like her.  I had some of the same early health issues that she had.  And I was topping it all off with a 12 pack of been and 2 packs of cigarettes a day!  I decided right then and there that I was NOT going down that road.  And I choose to do something about it.  Here it is 5 1/2 years later, and some days are good, and some days are not so good, but I continue to make the same choices to be MY Healthiest Me, EVERY day!

Can it all be fixed by taking better care of your health?  I don’t know, but research does show that it greatly improves your chances.  Why sit and wait?  Take action!  Isn’t living a more happy, more productive, more healthy life worth it?  In my opinion, from my experience, YES!

PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELVES!

Don’t know how?  Don’t know where to start?

I would LOVE to help you.  Most of you reading this blog already know how to find me.  Come visit me on Facebook or follow the links on my home page to my Beachbody site for more information.  Or, you can e-mail me any time at bodybybrenda@hotmail.com

MAKE today GREAT!!!

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