Quit or Fail Forward?

I have been battling some internal struggles lately.

Are my dreams stupid?

Is it time to give them up?

Has my WHY changed?

Do I have it in me to succeed?

Am I reaching out to the wrong people?

Why did I lose so much of the support I had even a year ago?

Did I change?

Did My goals change

Did THEIR goals change?

What should I do next?

Is an 8-5 employee all I will ever be?

Do I deserve more?

Do I deserve happiness?

Am I even worthy of my hopes and dreams?

 

That last one STOPPED my thinking right in its tracks!

WHY on Earth am I questioning my WORTH?

I KNOW I am worthy of great things!

I BELIEVE that God put me here for MORE!

I BELIEVE that I do my best EVERY DAY and deserve the best to come back to me!

 

Things I have to remember:

I do not control other people’s actions!

I can not help those who don’t FEEL my message, or are simply in too negative of a mindset themselves at this moment to accept my positive mindset into their lives.

If I present a solution to someone, no matter how much I want to see them succeed, they can’t without putting in the work, and that is on them!

I know there are more people who want my help are out there!  I just need to search for a new way to find them.  Which probably means it is time for me to get UNCOMFORTABLE!

After coming this far, WHY would I Ever QUIT NOW???

If you have read this far, THANK YOU!  Thank You for listening!  Sometimes when things aren’t going as planned, I start to doubt myself.  Doubt my abilities and what I stand for.  I know that I am good at what I do!  And I know that I LOVE the fitness studio that I have built, Phoenix Fitness with Body By BrendaT, and being a Beachbody Coach, more than anything else I have ever done!  I know that if I figure out a way to reach out to the people who relate to me, that I could do great things with who I have become.  I CAN and I WILL!

Because the OLD ME tried to surface and tear me down just because something wasn’t clicking into place.  Well, the OLD ME was WEAK!  The OLD ME would let something like someone else not believing in me, break me down.

The NEW ME?  Quite Frankly, doesn’t Give a F#@K what they think!

I’m STRONGER than the beat down girl that I used to be!

I GOT THIS!

This is from PiYo? REALLY?

Time for a small confession.

As a Beachbody Coach, I DO at least TRY all of our programs when they are released, but some I don’t do the full calendar, or even every workout within the program.

In September, we are offering an amazing savings on the PiYo Challenge Pack from Chalene Johnson​. And since my Crew team leader, Coach Jimmy​ is in Drench, me and 2 of the local coaches on my team decided to give it a try in my garage gym. Well, it IS called Drench, and my garage WAS about 90 degrees last night, but we had 3 fans going and we are tough girls, so we gave it a go.

Piyo-Drench-45


That’s The Coach Jimmy on the right! 🙂

But THIS is where things get interesting!

If you know my story, you know that I have a lumbar spinal fusion from L3-S1, that was put in during my 3rd back surgery in 1999 as a result of severe instability of my spine from a 1994 work injury when I was 22 years old working as a CNA at a Veterans’ Nursing Home.  This is what my back looks like during that surgery and now in X-ray.

back fusion

lumbar fusion

Since that fusion, my balance or flexibility have never been even close to what it used to be. Atrophied hamstrings and psoas and a cut erector spinea muscle being the biggest reasons. Fear of moving and hurting myself worse and depression that resulted in a love affair with prescription drugs, booze, and my couch, all while ballooning up to nearly 300# also didn’t help.

But back to my point…

We were all SOAKED!!!  We looked like we had gone swimming in our clothes!  At one point, I changed my head position, and sweat RAN off the top of my head!

post Piyo

Conclusion of the story?  PiYo is an AMAZING all encompassing fitness workout!

Not only does it work on flexibility and stretching and core work like you expect from the name, but also cardio and strength training!  WOW!  And this girl is a bit sore this morning.  I just Thank God that I used my Beachbody Performance Recharge last night, or I may not have been able to get out of bed today!  😀

So, if you are willing to start at the beginning and work up to the more advanced workouts, I am 100% positive that you would get FABULOUS results from this program.  I did have to slow down and/or do the modifications for a few things, but maybe with a little more PiYo in my life, my balance would actually improve! 🙂  I am willing to give it a try and plan to add it to my regime more often.  Just maybe not DRENCH again too soon 😉

If you are interested in trying this amazing program for yourself, contact me at any of the places below, and we can get you started today!

MAKE today GREAT!!!

bodybybrenda@hotmail.com

www.bodybybrendat.net

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IG and Twitter @bodybybrendat

www.beachbodycoach.com/bodybybrendat

My Heart Is Full!

Good Morning!

grateful

 

I know I have been absent from blogging for awhile, but it has been a busy season in my life. Work, home, wrapping things up from my Father’s passing, including working on my own closure for many things in my past, and then packing up me and 2 of my dedicated Beachbody Coaches and taking a trip to Nashville, TN for 2015 Coach Summit! We had an amazing time, but that is for another blog. Watch for it in the next few days. 🙂

Last night, I taught my first Zumba class since getting back. A full week off, and I was a little hesitant when we started, but with a full room, I quickly fell right into my groove and had a blast as usual!

Today, I woke dragging a bit from the whirlwind last week that seems to not be slowing down. But then I smiled. I smiled because my life is filled with wonderful people. Friends. Family. Students. My Beachbody Team. Children who look at me with adoring eyes and warm my soul. And even strangers who have come to me inspired or motivated to change their lives for the better.

Yup! My heart is filled with gratitude! I am humbled by the love I am shown each day.

And for that, I just want to Thank ALL of you who have brought something special to my life! 🙂

960

 

MAKE today GREAT!

bodybybrenda@hotmail.com

www.bodybybrendat.net

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www.beachbodycoach.com/bodybybrendat

Failed Again!?!

failing-forward

It has been brought to my attention by someone other than myself that I am too fat to wear fitted clothes right now!  WOW!  That one hit me right between the eyes.  BUT, I needed to hear it!  I have let the stress of life take me over for far too long.  Then last week, I took a Stay-cation and did very little moving, while eating whatever the heck I wanted.  Well, the results of all of this negative activity is showing up in a broader booty and waistline. 😦

So, as I struggle to get back on the right path, I feel like it is time to once again share my WHY with the world.  My WHY’s for getting healthy and fit are mainly selfish.  First and foremost, I really want to be HOT!  I know, I know….  How shallow, right?  But have you ever been the “ugly duckling”?  If you have, then you know where I am coming from.  I also want to feel AMAZING in any clothes I want to wear.  Now, I know that I am never going to look like Kate Upton in a bikini, but I am NOT Kate Upton!  I am Brenda Turnbaugh!  And being MY very best is good enough for me!  That may be a size 8/10, that may be a size 4/6, but whatever it is, as long as I know in my heart that I am giving MY life, MY VERY VERY BEST EFFORT, I am going to be OK with it!

But recently I have felt like a 100% FAILURE!  As a fitness coach, as a fitness instructor, as a role model, and even as as a person.  I realize now that none of that is true!  We all have trying times in our lives that we have to work through and get past.  But you live it, deal with it, dig deep to find your strength to move on, and never give up

So I am a little “fluffy” right now!  You know what?  FAILURES HAPPEN!  LIFE HAPPENS!

GivingUp

Yes, I have some weight to lose.

Yes, I am back up to a number on the scale that I NEVER wanted to see again.

And, Yes, I feel pretty “blah” about how I look and feel right now.

But I am working on forgiving myself for letting it get out of hand, and putting the stress, guilt, self-destruction, and self-sabatoge behind me!  Honestly, what other choice do I have?

failure

 

So, I know how to lose weight.  I know how to keep 100+ pounds off for 5 years.  Now I just need to figure out how to succeed at doing it longer.  I am not worried.  I’ve met me! 🙂  And I know of my determination and enthusiasm to succeed and help others succeed in this battle against obesity! 🙂

winston churchill

 

Next week, I start the next chapter of my story, by starting Shaun T’s Focus T25 and dedicating more time to my own fitness and nutrition program again.  I am very excited for the next 10 weeks, and would love for any of you to join in for support and accountability!

Go to my Home Page at http://www.bodybybrendat.net and fill out the form.  Then send me an email at bodybybrenda@hotmail.com telling me you are done with it, and I will help you get you started TODAY!!! 🙂

Strange Observations on My Journey to Success

I always thought “things” were the biggest sign of success.  I have found that to be FAR from the truth!  I have had some people say some amazingly nice things about me over the past year.  And I am actually starting to believe some of them 🙂  But knowing that I am helping people who found something in me that they had been needing in their lives makes me feel so humbled and makes my heart swell with love.success

But sometimes, a sign of success comes in STRANGE packages!

Let me tell you about something I observed today.

I am almost 44 years old! That was my MIND BOGGLING observation a few days ago 😛  But let’s move on!

Today, I think it is odd that I made it to 43 years of age thinking that bed sheets are bed sheets. I honestly don’t think I have ever paid more than probably $35 for a set of sheets, and that was on sale and what I thought were a REALLY GOOD SET! Last weekend, while at Sam’s Club, I saw that they had Egyptian Cotton 600 thread count sheets ON SALE for like $69! I was like WTH?!?!?!?
But we really needed a new set of sheets. The thin little piece of elastic on the corners of the fitted sheet were getting pretty worn out, AND they are the only set I have left and have been using them for well over 2 years!!!

Well, my Beachbody Income is well over $500 this month, so I decided to get them! Between my FT job, Zumba, and Beachbody, I work anywhere from12-18 hours a day, and thought….MAYBE I deserve to have a nice comfy place to sleep for the few hours I actually get! 😉 So I bought them. I had just washed the sheets, so I got around to putting the new ones on today.

JUST WOW! I honestly always just thought that when you bought expensive sheets you were basically paying for a name, or just the extra thread at the very least! They are SO MUCH MORE! I was going to take a picture, but I don’t think it would even do them justice! They are a beautiful chocolate brown with the sateen look going opposite direction about every 3/4 of an inch. They are big enough to fully COVER our dual pillow top mattress and a 2″ memory foam topper with at least 18″ overhang on each side and 24″ at the bottom so I got to tuck in plenty enough to not come out EVERY night!
And the fitted sheet? it wraps UNDER the mattress by a FOOT, AND the elastic goes all the way around and is an inch wide!
Then we get to the 4 Pillow Cases! Yes, all 4 of my pillow cases will actually match for the first time I think ever. And inside of each pillow case is a pocket to keep the pillow from coming out! WHAT IS THAT??? AMAZING! That is what that is! 🙂

Now we get to how they feel against my skin. I have never felt anything like it! I thought the sheets at the MGM were the best ever, and I was hoping these would compare. They are BETTER! Soft. Inviting. Luxurious.

So at the end of the day, when I can’t possibly reconcile one more insurance EOB, help one more person, add one more number, write one more blog, pay one more bill, do one more workout, choreograph one more song, or even clean one more thing in my house, I know I will have that beautiful chocolate cloud to go to sleep in.

So, with all that said, I have to reiterate that I LOVE BEING A BEACHBODY COACH! I am still far from where I know I am going to go in this business. I mean seriously??? I get to help people improve their health and fitness and get PAID for it!!!

If you would like to come along on this adventure with me, I would LOVE to have you on my team. Maybe buying soft, fancy sheets isn’t a goal in your life, but think about it….if you had an extra $500 a month, what would you do with it.

I know my style, my personality, my “way” may not for everyone.  But if you are willing to put forth the effort to make a REAL lifestyle change and do AMAZING workouts and eat a balanced nutritious diet including what is in my opinion to be the very best meal replacement dense nutrition shake ever made, contact me, and I will be here to help you as much as I can.

So, if you want more information, are ready to jump on board and join my team, or if you are looking for help to reach your personal health and fitness goals, please feel free to reach out to me.  Because I would love to help you.

dream big think small

YOU have the power.

MAKE today GREAT!!!

bodybybrenda@hotmail.com

www.bodybybrendat.net

www.beachbodycoach.com/bodybybrendat

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I AM DONE!

Life has been kind of stressful the last couple of months.  I have felt a bit lost.  My fitness has been suffering.  I have had more struggles with depression and feeling down on myself.  I have even started turning to food AND alcohol for comfort.  But the last few weeks, I have been doing some SERIOUS thinking.  I know I have always been kind of wishy washy when it comes to making HARD decisions.  I have always just settled for mediocre in my life.  I have been settling for living the life everyone “expected” me to live.  But then I started answering some HARD questions, and have come to a few conclusions.  And I am DONE!

ImDone

With what you ask?

Well let me explain, because basically I have decided that it is time to S#!T OR GET OFF THE POT as my beloved Momma used to say!

Around December of 2011, I met a very nice young man named Jeremy, whose mother, Sandi Krakowski, I absolutely adored, on Facebook.  Turns out, he had been struggling with some of the same things I had in the past, and we just began talking about changing for the better.  Also turned out that he was a Beachbody Coach.  We talked a few times about it, but I had really kind of always done things on my own.  But I was starting to think about making a career shift towards health and fitness, but really had NO IDEA what I wanted to do or where to start!

In February 2012 I joined The Crew, which is my Beachbody Coaching Team, as a “Discount Coach”.  To be truthful, The Crew has actually become more like family!  A group of like minded people trying to both keep themselves accountable and support each other in health and fitness, AND help others discover their own potential and reach their goals.  With their suggestions, guidance, and support, I have read books, listened to audios, went to seminars, and even got on a plane to VEGAS to learn more.  But the most important thing I learned, is that I AM worthy of holding my head up high and being confident with the success I have had in the past, and be confident that there is much more success to be had in my future!

However….I still only half believed it.  Could I REALLY make my dreams come true?  Could I REALLY be all that I have dreamed of being?  Could I REALLY be so successful that Tony and I can live an amazing life of freedom?  Could I REALLY have it ALL?

Over the last couple of weeks, I have been weighing my options.  Continue to work hard doing everything and getting no further ahead, or focus just a little more on what I REALLY want and sit down and make the plan to make my future EXACTLY what I have pictured it to be.  And that does not include settling for a life being miserable while sitting behind a desk all day and only enjoying my part time jobs and hobbies at night.

Don’t get me wrong, I actually like my job.  I work for an amazing family oriented company and SSSHHHH!!! don’t tell him, but I even have a pretty amazing boss! 😉

But I have begun to feel like I am drowning there.  Like I am fighting to get to the air that I need to breath, and I just can’t reach the surface.  I feel that it is not what God intended for me.  I am supposed to help people find their potential and live it to its fullest!  And my catalyst to do that is through fitness.  Specifically, as a Beachbody Coach and Zumba/Fitness Instructor.

do what is in your heart!

I have been doing better in my business, but I have really still been treating it like a hobby.  But my Zumba Dance/Fitness classes, my following on line, and even my success story list are all growing almost weekly!

SO…I am DONE being only a “Hobby” Beachbody Coach.  I am truly ready to make this MY LIFE!  And I know this, because I did something so scary to me, that had I not already been sick Monday, would have made me nauseous.  I signed up to go on the Team Beachbody Cruise in March of 2016!  And I could have played it safe and signed up for the cheapest cabin, but I elected to GO FOR IT!  I signed up for an outside room with a balcony!  If now IS the time, then I better go ALL IN!  Because I intend to go on that trip for FREE!

SSBeachbody2016Small

What does this mean for you if you are already on my team as a coach or customer or if you are thinking about becoming my one of my coaches or customers?  SUCCESS IS AROUND THE CORNER!!!  I still have to work my 8 hour day at my job, but my business is going to BOOM in 2015!  And to do that, I have to help MORE people!  Will you be one of them?  Do you want to be the next Beachbody Success Story?

I would LOVE to have you join me!  Message me.  Follow me.  Email me.  However you want to reach me.  I would love to help YOU work towards being YOUR Personal Best, while I am striving to be ALL that I KNOW I CAN BE!

ME AT LEGACY

MAKE today GREAT!!!

bodybybrenda@hotmail.com

www.bodybybrendat.net

www.beachbodycoach.com/bodybybrendat

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IG and Twitter @bodybybrenda

How do you see YOU? And what excuses are you using to keep from changing that?

WOW!  It has been over a MONTH since my last blog!  I would say I am sorry, but life has simply been amazingly busy lately.  My “Get Me Through The Holidays Support and Accountability Challenge Group” is doing AMAZING!  They have lost OVER 150# so far, with 2 weeks to go!  And here I was just hoping to keep from gaining any during the holidays, but these girls are kicking booty and inspiring me to lose some of the weight that I had put on over this stressful summer.

Add in getting ready for Christmas, and around my house, that means decorating!  They don’t call me”Griswold” for nothing! 😉  But I think I am done and ready to just enjoy the rest of the holiday season.  Not baking as much this year, because…well….does anyone REALLY need it?  Traditional triple chocolate cake and rum cake both have to be made, along with a couple cookies, but that is about it.

OK…I am getting off track.  But now that you know that I have been a little busy, back to the task at hand.

HOW do you see you?

mirror

No matter where you are in your journey, Day 1 or at your goal, you must see yourself, flaws and all, as a beautiful person.  Because YOU are the only person who can do this for you!  It is time to set the BS excuses that you tell yourself aside and get busy improving your health!  Excuses are just lies you tell others so that you can try to convince yourself that you have a legitimate reason for not getting something done.  Trust me, I do it all the time.  I am the Queen of the Procrastination Excuse!

But now it is time to debunk a few excuses.  Since excuses are just lies that you tell yourself, you owning up to yourself on the ones that are calling you out is going to help you decide to commit to the work so that you can finally see real success.

#1~ I don’t have time!  REALLY?!?!  Did you REALLY just say that to me?  I have a full time job, a part time job, and my own business.  Not to mention a family of 7, yes, all 4-legger kids, but they need taken care of and love and affection too!  Yes, I know I procrastinate on many things that if I just did them, I could be so much farther in my business and have better relationships.  But those are my fears to deal with, and right now we are talking about YOU! 😉

If you are sick and tired of being sick and tired, take action, and ASK FOR HELP in that action.  Human engagement is what is lacking in so many plans to “get healthy”.  You don’t have to do it alone.  I will be your accountability, but YOU must first reach out and make the commitment to do the work.

time to workout

#2 – But I am too out of shape to do what what it takes to get fit.  This one is, well, I am sorry to tell you, but just DUMB!  Do you REALLY think I started out where I am now?  I got winded on my first walk going just a block from my house and back.  My first set of push ups was against a wall, and I could only do 4!  It is about taking the first step.  I know it is hard!  Trust me, I know!  And yes, there will be tears.  There will be doubt.  And there will be times you want to quit.  But it is not just a workout or nutrition plan you are quitting on, You are quitting on your WHY.  Remember the reason you wanted to start down this path, and honor that by taking that first step, continuing to take each next step, and never giving up!

 

slower by quitting

 

#3 – But the progress is SO SLOW.  You have GOT to stop living in the “Instant” Society!  Things that you get for free or things that come quickly, how much do you REALLY appreciate them?  We all have FREE workouts and diet plans available to us at the click of a mouse.  I myself have given away my own workouts and diet plans, the EXACT things that I did and lost 125#, and for the most part, they basically ended up in the garbage.  I find that many people do not truly appreciate something if it is handed to them.  I myself lost 87# back in 1996, very quickly.  Within 4 months of my goal date, I had gained back 35#.  And within 5 years, had gained it all back, and they brought friends.  Why? because I did it in a way that was focused around deprivation and fast weight loss.  The progress in the pic below, took me years!  To lose the weight, gain the muscle, achieve my fit, athletic body.  It didn’t come fast, and it didn’t come from starvation, deprivation, or a magic potion.  It came from deciding to commit to doing the work it was going to take to make a LASTING success.

help

 

 

#4- I will just end up with loose skin again and that makes me feel just as bad as being fat because I still won’t look good in a bikini.  Scars, stretch marks, loose skin.  I have them all.  But I have learned to wear them with pride.  Here is a poem that my friend Mark Cummings wrote about being proud of your scars~

mark

 

I wrote this for all those who have been scared inside and out. Don’t forget you’re still here because you have a purpose and you are STRONG ENOUGH, and GOOD ENOUGH to earn what you’re worth!

 

These scars I wear with pride

These scars I dare not hide

Remember the battles I have fought

Remember the lessons I was taught

 

On the surface and inside deep

Onward and upward to my feet

And if my struggles get too hard

I’ll look down to see my scars

 

Though at times they appear unsightly

But only because my fights been mighty

So These scars I wear with pride

And these scars I dare not hide


-Mark Cummings-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A little more of my views on the subject from my personal experience:

The scars I have, both the mental and physical, remind me of what I have lived through to become the strong person I am today.  The stretch marks, remind me how hard it is to be obese, and the shame of people seeing me.  And last but not least, the loose skin.  I have been asked many times if I was going to have surgery to get rid of it, but to be honest, it has tightened up some, and although I know it will always somewhat be there, I have learned to accept it for what it is.  Oh sure, I will never look HOT in a bikini, and I still have issues with anyone seeing my belly, and a padded, push-up bra is going to be a necessity for the rest of my life, but then I think back, and remember… I NEVER looked HOT in anything before, and I do now!  I NEVER wanted anyone to see my belly when I was closing in on 300# either, so nothing new there.  And I NEVER had voluptuous, perky boobs anyway, so what is the difference?  LOL!

What is the difference?

I am no longer Pre-diabetic.  I no longer have a cholesterol reading of “gravy”.  I no longer have high BP.  I can walk up a flight of steps without getting out of breath.  I RAN A FREAKING MARATHON!  I teach Zumba classes.  I am sitting here writing on a health and fitness blog!!!  And because my passion to help others feel the way I feel now, with more confidence, more energy, less headache from worry about what health issue is going to pop up next, I became a Beachbody Coach.  I have always wanted to help people.  As a young student, I wanted to be a chiropractor, so I started my medical career by going to the vocational center at my high school and getting certified as a nursing assistant.  When I got pregnant my senior year, and then lost the baby, I also lost all ambitions of returning to school, so I settled in as a CNA at a nursing home.  When I got hurt, and told I could not return, I got a job in the business office at a local pharmacy.  I thought at least I would still have my foot in the door of a career in health.  But I had let the fire for that passion of truly making a difference burn out.  I went from being chubby and overweight to obese and then morbidly obese.  I settled in to a mediocre life.

NO MORE!

kickpic collage

I believe that God put me here for a reason, and I that fire has been reignited.

fire

If you are ready to start your journey to health and fitness, I would love to help.  Find me on Facebook @ Body By Brenda or email me at bodybybrenda@hotmail.com