I am ME! And THAT is GOOD ENOUGH!

Yep, I am STILL here!  It has been a crazy busy last few months!  With a FT job, being a Zumba Instructor, Beachbody Coaching, selling our Dad’s house(and clearing it of 48 years worth of memories), and still trying to find time to relax occasionally with my friends and family so they remember what I look like, I have found little time to write.  Which really stinks, because some of my best days always follow me spilling my guts on this blog and sharing myself with the world.

I am listening to the most amazing book on my commute to work this week, and I am finding it VERY pertinent to many of us who struggle with believing in ourselves and finding our worthiness to be the AWESOME people we have the opportunity, the desire, and the RIGHT to be! We just need to have faith in ourselves and take that leap! I KNOW I can be a magnificent Beachbody Coach, motivator, accountability leader, and all around Inspirational Badass! But I hold myself back.

WHY?

One reason I think of, is that I can’t do it as fast or in the exact same way that others that I have witnessed “make it”, so I figure my way “CAN’T” be right. It “CAN’T” work!

AM I RIGHT?

NNNNOOOOOOO!!!!!

If everyone was EXACTLY the same, and only connected to that ONE type of person, the world would be a pretty boring place. On my personal page yesterday, I posted a pic of Kurt Cobain with the quote, “Wanting to be someone else is a waste of who you are.”  I am failing because I am trying to be someone else.  I am trying to 100% duplicate what works for THEM, without adding any “Brenda” to it.  Obviously that is NOT going to work.

In the book I am listening to, “You Are A Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life” by Jen Sincero, Jen says, “You are the ONLY You there is, and you are the only You there ever will be!”  She goes on to say, “Do not deny the world the only chance it will ever have to bask in your brilliance.”

At first I giggled at that, and thought WHY would anyone ever want to “bask in my brilliance”?  Do I even have “brilliance”?  And is it REALLY worth basking in?  Then I got to thinking about something someone said to me just last night.  A person who I recently met for just a few minutes, told a friend, “…there is something special about her.”  I of course just laughed it off as I do all compliments.  But it really hit a spot in my heart that made me wonder….”Is he right?”  Do I truly have these gifts to offer the world and help others SEE IN THEMSELVES what they truly can be?  The old line, “If I can do it, anyone can”  UGH!  I heard it a thousand times when I was fat.  Shoot!  I have used it several times myself!  I hate the way it sounds.  So cliche, so insincere.  BUT, I do believe that each person has a “WHY” deep inside them.  And once they identify it, with that “WHY” in mind each day, they CAN accomplish what they long to achieve.  Be the person they truly WANT to be.

It isn’t magic.

But it IS “MAGICAL”!

When I FINALLY found MY WHY deep inside of me, and I decided once and for all to lose the weight, quit smoking, become a casual drinker instead of a daily drunk, quit smoking 2 packs of cigarettes a day, fight to get past the depression and pain, and LIVE MY LIFE, it happened for me.  When I finally realized that what I was doing was keeping me in a state of “Chronic Unhappiness” even though I was married to my best friend, had a job, a roof over my head, a car, family who cared about me, and so many other blessings, THAT is the day I was truly BORN!  This IS the ME that I am meant to be!  This is who I am being lead to share with the world.

Maybe you don’t need my help.  Maybe you don’t need my kind of accountability coaching.  Maybe you don’t need my services, products, or friendship.  But that’s OK.  Find those who you connect with.  This is a BIG world!  And there are people out there who want to help YOU grow to YOUR full potential.

If you would like to connect with me more on a daily basis, come where I live.  And by that, I mean, please visit me on by FB page Body By Brenda, and follow me on IG and Twitter @bodybybrenda .

As Always, MAKE today GREAT!

And I will SEE YOU AT THE TOP!!!

My Life and Childhood Obesity

I want to put something out here that has been on my mind and heart lately.

Many of you know that I was a “fat kid”. I wasn’t sweet and cute, I was overweight, had thick glasses, and I was smart. NOT a great combo, ESPECIALLY when the subject is bullying. But even WORSE when the subject is self-respect, self-love, self-image, self-esteem, and self-WORTH!

Things as simple as doing my favorite thing in the world, which was going to our town’s public pool with my friends, was actually just another stressful situation in my life. Oh sure, I had some great friends who never cared, and stuck up for me when the bullies would bother me, and I even pretended to laugh a lot of it off. But the scars from that pain just went deeper and deeper. At the age of 9, I even had a nervous breakdown and was put into a hospital where I was supposed to get help. I got something, but it was NOT help! But that is another subject altogether. Point is, I had no idea what “being normal” even meant. I was always the “chubby girl”, “fat friend”, or my personal favorite “big-boned girl”! UGH! But what did I do about it? I turned to MORE food! It was my only solace. Sometimes, my only friend. ESPECIALLY when my friends started dating! At 12, I started sneaking Dexatrim diet pills, and abusing laxatives. I would eat ONLY jarred baby food for days until I would almost pass out from hunger, and then eat everything in sight.

In my twenties, the pain was so deep, that I was actually happy that there was a very high chance that I could not have children, because I feared that I would have a girl and she would be just like me! That was the last thing I EVER wanted for a kid. Especially MY kid! Then when we decided to really find out IF children were even a possibility, I decided that if we had one, I would just monitor the food. I would be sure they weren’t a video gamer and got outside to play and get into sports. The same things that I went through would NOT happen to my KID!

However, as most of you know, we were never blessed with children. BUT. Now as a fit adult with the understanding of a “less than fit” past, I can relate to many other people’s struggles. Including young girls. This is one reason I enjoy doing Zumba with the Girl Scouts, and why I love that there will be children EVERWHERE at the Relay For Life event I am doing Zumba at on June 13th in Quincy, IL. AND why I ALWAYS encourage people to bring their children along to my classes for FREE!!!

Unfortunately, I used to think, “I can’t be everywhere, and I can’t help inspire and motivate them all.”

But through this blog, through social media, through word of mouth. I have the power to reach a LOT more than I even dreamed possible. But you know what? If I can help even ONE girl feel better about herself. Make her realize that just because she is not the perfect girl that is portrayed in movies, tv shows, music videos, on the internet, and in magazines, does NOT mean that she has no worth!

Even if I have to do it by motivating and helping their moms, I MUST try to do whatever is in my power to keep children from feeling like they are less of a person because they are overweight. Helping the kids when I can and helping the Moms AND Dads be better role models to help give them a fighting chance. I didn’t have that, but the kids in my life, whether they are mine or not, will always know that being active and having fun WHILE being fit is an AMAZING way to live your life!

Just because I am not a Mom, does NOT mean that I can’t have a positive influence on the children of the world.

Let me know how I can help you be a good fitness role model for the little ones watching YOU!Fathers-Day-push-ups-972281_591998907497032_1479004053_n